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How Grief Relates To The Work Of The Soul

Bob Olson: I'm pleased to be interviewing Laura Scott today on the relationship between grief and soul work. Laura is a psychic, spiritual teacher and channel for healing, and she is going to teach us how grieving is a natural part of our growth process in this journey we call life.

Laura, I think it is safe to say that most adults will deal with grief in their lifetime. Do you believe that the grief process is part of most everyone's life purpose?

Laura Scott: Hi Bob, it's always a pleasure to connect with you!  Yes, sooner or later we will all experience grief on one level or another. It is unavoidable.  Grief transcends social classes, cultures, countries, education, backgrounds and more.  It is a great equalizer.  We grieve the physical loss of loved ones, beloved pets, family members, as well as less tangible things like losses of life roles, health, loss of status, phases of our lives, jobs,  ideas, youth, freedom - you name it and someone has grieved for it intimately.

Scientists have recently discovered that no matter what the cause, all forms of grief create physical pain and chemical reactions in our body.  In other words, grief in any form takes a measurable toll on us physically, one that can actually be quantified and seen in laboratories.  The second interesting thing about these studies is that grief over the loss of loved one,  whether human or animal,  both measured the same identical effects  in the body.  So whether we are grieving a spouse, or a beloved animal companion the effects in our bodies are equal.  That is an important finding because it offers us an opportunity to have more compassion for ALL those who grieve, not just those we can relate to, or those losses we deem 'worthy.'  It's a huge opportunity for a lesson in compassion and expanding our inadequate models for understanding grief.

Those who have known and suffered through grief, in whatever form, know that in addition to grief being a gauntlet of emotional, physical and spiritual things, it also brings us up against societies shortcomings for dealing with it.  As a global community full of world citizens, we need to do a better job of understanding and tolerating grief in all it's forms.  Since grief is inescapable, non discriminating,  all equalizing, and able to be measured quantitatively, clearly it is also an integral part of our  soul work. 

And while grief can be excruciatingly isolating, it doesn't have to be.  The answer is simple: we need more compassion for ourselves and others.  And we need a new model for understanding the importance of grief in terms of growth of the soul.

Bob: What benefits do we gain from grieving the loss of a loved one?

Laura: Ahhh, good question. Let me answer that from the position of someone who has experienced first hand grief and loss.  When we are in the throws of it, grief is purely about survival.  It is primal.  There are days when you can't sleep enough, and others where you can't  sleep at all.  There are days when you can't eat, and other days where you just can't stop eating.  Days where you are all cried out, and whole stretches of days where you cry all the time, even in your sleep.  Days where you can't stop thinking, and days where you can't think at all.

Initially, grief must be experienced and respected as primal, where our very survival hinges on ebbing and flowing with this process far greater than ourselves.  Eventually though, it's important to start seeing grief for what it is on a larger level...sacred work for the soul.   By grieving the loss of a loved one we ultimately invite our own healing and soul progress...making room for new understanding, acceptance, clarity and compassion to come in.  And with all this comes a better communication with The Other Side, not a weakened one.

I think it would help if in some way we can think of getting through grief as a required right of passage for the soul. 

Bob: If grieving is part of our soul work, perhaps you can explain to us the meaning of "soul work" in this context.

Laura: Soul work is the task that each and every being has while they are down here on earth.  We are all here to learn and to grow, and the non-discriminating nature of grief guarantees each of us a few passes at it during this earthly journey.  Like it or not, it is part of this earthly package deal.   By reframing grief into that context, it can help us all to remember that we are not alone.  We are on a larger journey - and life is a continuum.  We will all be connected with our loved ones again.  The things in this earthly world are designed for impermanence.  The soul, however, is perpetual.

Remember, we humans have to flow everything through our egos.  The ego would have us think we are in control, we are the center of The Universe, we are different than others, better than others, not like others, exempt from suffering, above loss etc....and guess what?  The ego is a big illusion artist, a great fibber!  Ego is a human condition.  It means we are focused or fixated on ourselves:   I this, I that.  But our soul doesn't work this way.  The ego or id is part of the earthly package, not the eternal one. When we find ways to move through our grief and become even slightly aware of a bigger picture, there is comfort in knowing that despite appearances everything is always working for good - for our growth.  Everything is leading us somewhere.  Eventually, as spirits, we will all meet again.  And in the scheme of The Universe, that's just a blink of the eye.

Bob: So, although we may have several things to learn in our lifetime, part of that soul work is to experience the physical loss of people we love?

Laura: Yes Bob.  As painful as it is, we all age, we all get to trade in these bodies eventually. Our bodies are designed to expire;  like cars.  It is part of the deal here on earth.  No one is exempt - although a few eccentric billionaires have had their brains and spinal columns frozen, but I think they missed the point of soul work and were operating from strictly an ego place!

As we age physically we will hopefully also become more aware of our selves: our physical capabilities and possibilities.  Philosophies like 'seize the day', 'make hay while the sun shines',   'attitude is everything' and so on take on new meanings for us.  These attitudes can help shape and mold our daily experiences. The changes that come with aging and the passage of time create a type of goal system that we measure life with.  For instance: "when I get tall enough I will ride a big bike,' or 'as soon as I can drive...,'  'after I graduate college,' 'once the mortgage is paid off,' 'once I am in remission', 'when I get married,' 'after physical therapy is finished,'  etc.

Statements, attitudes, and expressions like these are used to quantify time. They help us to both make and measure goals.  They may sometimes reflect our inner  progress and changes as well as outward ones.  Notice I said sometimes.  Because like it or not, whether you are maturing or not, aging and the passage of time WILL happen here on earth.  For all of our marvels and advances to discover and quantify time, the one thing that seems to have alluded  us is how to stop or reverse it.  Ultimately, no matter how much we love our 'cars' - things are indeed designed to wear and change.  No matter how much we love our pets, family members, partners, etc., eventually we all go "Home" to a wonderful place.  Some of us just take an earlier train there than others.

How we deal with these concepts is a matter of choice and attitude.  After all, life is always what we make it. 

Bob: If dealing with such loss is difficult for someone in this life, do you often find that such people have had similar difficulties in past lives? In other words, is there often a similar relationship with grief from one life to the next?

Laura: Sometimes, but not always. Every soul is as unique as their own fingerprint.  Remember, there are billions and billions of us down here and no two souls the same.  That means that no two souls will experience the same things, in precisely the same way.  We each have our own life work and history to navigate.  If we have struggled with grief work in past lives, we will face it again (remember it's inescapable and multifaceted).  It is part of our larger soul work, and if we haven't done the best we feel we can in the past...then here it comes again.   The difference is that this time, we will now have a chance to do better...even one percent better than we did in our lives before.  This is something that I often educate people about during private sessions and readings if it pertains to specifically to them. In doing so I will look at their relevant past lives and lead the client to the pivotal tools for change for right here and now.

Bob: I guess, then, that the question really is: how do we work with our grief?

Laura: For starters, we need to reframe it.  Start to see grief as a sacred time, an inescapable part of our soul work.  Keep it primal. Get up every day and somehow breath in and out.  When whole days seem overwhelming, break it up into smaller increments.  Sit and watch the clock tic off a minute and when you are done, reach for another.  Be supremely gentle with yourself. That means be patient, tolerant, kind, understanding, forgiving, and more. Remember that grief is a process. Taking Rescue Remedy (Bach Flower essence) is also big help.

Focus on staying present, and relishing this sacred space for what it is. Get outside each day and breath in the fresh air. Don't overwhelm yourself. Spend a few moments watching the clouds or the stars. Don't rush the people you love who are grieving through their sacred process. Respect it. Have compassion for it. Try to understand it. Don't quantify it (remember the scientist's conclusions), encourage those in grief not to censor themselves. Just be. The sky won't fall open and swallow you up. Offer to listen. Cry with them if you like. Don't take offense at their process. 

Understand that just because there appear to be some 'good' days, doesn't mean that there won't be any more challenging moments or rough days. Grief is a lot like the stock market, it is not a linear thing. It's a lot more like the graphs of the stock market (yikes!), spiking up and down with every breeze. Those who are able to be present, be it physically, emotionally, spiritually, or psychically - despite their fears - do bring comfort. They help to expand our inadequate grief model into a better place.  And they become part of the sacred journey of healing and help God to spread grace around all of our hearts.

If you are stuck in the grieving place and not moving, seek support.  Join a grief group, see a counselor, use some natural remedies (like the Bach Flower essences or homeopathy), consider an alternative approach like mediumship or a reading.  Remember there are no time tables or limits to grief.  We are all unique.  For some grieving takes months, for others it is years, even decades.  The important thing is for us to remember not to judge another's process and push our own expectations on them.

Bob: Are there tools or books that can further help our grief work?

Laura: Yes, the www.GriefandBelief.com website is a fantastic resource too.  I also strongly recommend keeping a journal to record your passage through this sacred process. The Ancient Stardust Progress Journal is designed to help guide people through life changes, awakenings, loss, etc.  It's excellent at demystifying the journaling process and helping you to connect with your own process and awakenings.

Also, there are two CD's in the Ancient Stardust Tools for Change CD Series, that would be great for anyone going through a grieving process.  The first is Grounding and Centering, which will help you to focus on your breathing and the other is called Higher Purpose.  The Higher Purpose CD has been a phenomenon.  The meditation was originally created to help people connect in with their angels, spirit guides, and animal messengers.  But deceased loved ones have been showing up and taking the journey with listeners-bringing them comfort and messages and more!  I have experienced this first hand and the effects have been mind blowing, even for a psychic like me! The feedback coming to my office has been very moving.

Bob: Laura, I know that you are able to communicate with people in spirit, although that is not all that you do as a psychic, spiritual teacher and channel for healing. But considering your ability to convey messages from spirit, do you believe it is helpful for the grieving to communicate with their deceased loved ones?

Laura: Yes, I do think it is helpful, but I also think it isn't fully enough. The next logical step once you know that your loved one is okay is to learn more about the progress of the soul, including your own.  A major focus of my life work is to help educate people about this, and I do a lot of work in private session to help people understand how to raise their own vibrations and awareness up so that they can become more empowered.  When we are empowered, it is the  next natural step to understand all the ways our loved ones are with us and to start looking to see the big picture.

Bob: What are some of the methods that you recommend for spirit communication: mediumship, prayer, meditation, other? 

Laura: Yes those and more. I think the most important thing to remember is that knowledge is power.  Read!  The Complete Idiot's Guide to Divining the Future is a treasure trove of knowledge to help people understand how to use tools like the ones you've mentioned responsibly. It will help readers to identify their own strengths and gifts, understand their own unique wiring, and ultimately to become more empowered in the process.  If people are looking to mediums for private readings, be sure to look for the right fit for you.  Do your homework.  Visit www.BestPsychicMediums.com for starters!

Bob: Do our loved ones attempt to communicate with us from the spirit world?

Laura: Oh yes!

Bob: What are some of the signs we should look for?

Laura: Dream visitations, smells, electronic interferences, synchronicities, tapping, clicking, coin dropping, sound frequency changes and more. 

Bob: Why do they try to give us these signs? Why is it important for them to convey these messages or make their presence felt? 

Laura: Have you ever read a great book or seen a good movie that you couldn't wait to tell the people in your life about?  Felt so good (happy, inspired, enthusiastic, etc) that you wanted to tell people? Especially the people that you know are worrying about you and care about you?  Well, think along those lines.   As for our loved ones having a vested interest in our daily grind, mostly they could care less.  It's more like they see us struggling and send us signs to remind us to lighten up, laugh, enjoy the journey, don't feel so alone.  They are trying to help us see the big picture. 

Bob: I'm curious, Laura, how our grieving affects our loved ones on the other side?

Laura: Thank you for asking that Bob.  Grief does affect our loved ones on The Other Side.  I sometimes read for clients who are having trouble letting their grieving process unfold, because in some way they fear that if they allow their grief to heal, then they think they will feel farther from their deceased loved one instead of closer to them.  It's actually the opposite for the soul though. Our grief actually has a way of clogging up the ethereal communication lines.  Our earthly grief can also be a distraction or concern for our loved ones who have crossed over, in that they don't want to upset us further by reaching out, or they are trying to reach out and we are so clogged up with the funk of grief that we just can't hear it, feel it, see it, experience it, etc.

Bob: Why is it important for "us" that we learn to move to this next phase of communication with our deceased loved ones? 

Laura: Because our own earthly grief can prevent our loved ones from finishing up their own process of leaving the body behind and moving forward. In our ego minds we cling to what we knew, but in doing so, we hold up progress, both theirs and ours.  When we grow to understand the changes from a soul's perspective, a new language of communication begins.  When we learn how to embrace it and celebrate it, we actually have more peace, happiness and joy because we are in the zone of infinite love that 'they' are now in.  It raises up our own frequencies and actually makes it easier to feel 'them' around us.  It's so important for us to remember that we will all be together again.  Our loved ones just took an earlier train to the destination we are all going.  And when we do get 'there,' our loved ones will be waiting at the platform to greet us.

Bob: In light of all this, what can you tell us about how we "chart" our exit points from the physical plane to the spiritual plane? Do we always know when we are going to cross over? 

Laura: We all have several exit opportunities charted, but there is usually no conscious memory of this.  Most people can sit and think of at least a few times in retrospect when they 'dodged a close one.'  But that is all retrospect.   No, we do not always know when we are going to cross over, that is a private choice made in charting the soul.  Some souls may opt for awareness and to begin their life review process while still here on earth, while others may not choose this option in their chart, so as to create a different opportunity for learning and growing for others here.

Bob: This has been really enlightening. I'm not sure I'll look at the grieving process the same again. It really helps to put grief into perspective. Thanks for teaching us all this. 

Laura: You are most welcome Bob! Thank you for the opportunity to help your readers learn more about the big picture of grief and how it effects the work of their soul.

Bob: If people would like to contact you about counseling for their grief, private readings and/or soul work, how can they learn more about you? 

Laura: They can call my office toll free at 1-866-897-1504 or  visit my website: www.ancientstardust.com, or read my spiritual advice column "Ask Laura" along with numerous articles I have written that are published on OfSpirit.com, many of which deal directly with soul work and the subject of grief. Many of these articles can be found of OfSpirit.com's Psychics & Mediums page

According to things I’ve read, if you’re black and male, your father will give you "The Talk" when you’re about 12 years old. No, not the sex "talk." I mean he’ll give you fatherly advice on how to act when hassled by a police officer, knowing your skin color and sex will cause cops to single you out for harrassment. I’m not black, I have no children, and I’m not even old enough to be a father figure for any but the youngest members here, but this "talk" is important.

Anyway, I was picking up my girlfriend, and sitting in my parked car. Some busybody of a neighbor thought I was buying drugs and called the cops. The cop went out of his way, above and beyond the call of duty, to be a liar and an asshole, but I came out ahead.

In any case, remember the cop’s motivation is solely to find an excuse to arrest you. First, he’ll want to find contraband, especially drugs or weapons, on you or in your car. Let him pat you down for weapons and such; it’s allowed. Do not speak to him, or even look at him, unless specifically asked to do so; he could say you were being "combattive" or "defiant" otherwise. When he asks if you have anything in the car or your pockets he "should know about," pause for about five seconds, then tell him "no" in a monotone, soft, annoyed voice. If he asks permission to search your car, deny it, especially if there are no drugs in the car.

When that fails, he’ll want to arrest you for being under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Remember two things: First, field sobriety tests are bogus. They are used by the police to determine if a "real" sobriety test is needed, such as drawing a sample of your blood or urine. Second, field sobriety tests are handy tools to encourage you to incriminate yourself, that is, to make you admit to consuming alcohol or drugs. The police are allowed to use deception to make a suspect confess to a crime. Ergo, it is impossible to "pass" a field sobriety test. My test consisted of shining a flashlight into my eyes several times, then comparing the size of my pupils to the dots on a card. The test indicated I was high on a stimulant. I knew this to be false because I hadn’t consumed alcohol in a week, and hadn’t used illicit drugs in more than ten years, which was marijuana. I didn’t even consume any caffeine. Logically, the test is bogus because there is no size your pupils can be that doesn’t match a size on that card. The cop was probably expecting me to confess to using drugs, or to beg like a puppy for forgiveness, proclaiming my innocence. I did neither, and so should you.

Oh, and if he says you’re "in a known drug area," he’s right, in a way. There’s no place you can travel that is not a "known drug area." One of the differences between poor and affluent areas is the quality of drugs the people can afford. Ignore the "known drug area" statement.

So, you’ve got no contraband, and haven’t been using drugs? Good, but there’s one tactic left the police can use to arrest you: The cop can be completely obnoxious. This is to provoke a fight; assaulting a police officer is their favorite offense to use to arrest you. The cop will become annoyed by your aloof attitude, demonstrated by your pausing before answering his questions, and will interrupt you with insults about your intelligence, perhaps asking "Do you speak English?" He’ll invade what is commonly called your "personal space," putting his face into yours. Remember, keep your hands below your waist at all times. He has already checked you for weapons, but your instinct is to put your arms up to block his approach. Don’t do it; this is the only thing he needs to say you were assaulting him, and charge you with assault, resisteng arrest, and perhaps beat you down just for fun. The cop went so far as to call my girlfriend a "crack whore," knowing most men would react with violence. Before the cop and I even met, I knew he’d lie and be obnoxious, so I ignored it.

About this time, my girlfriend, the "crack whore," emerged from the house. She can’t control her emotions and keep her mouth shut, so the cop was nastier to her than to me. He told her I was high on some unknown stimulant; more deception to try to get a confession. She said if he was convinced of this, he should conduct a urine test, which the cop had no intention of doing.

With nothing left, the cop returned my drivers license and explained I could complain to the police chief if I wanted, but the neighbors are tired of the drug activity, and he’d find a reason to arrest me if I ever returned to the area, which I took to mean he’d plant drugs in my car or provoke a fight. I travel where I please without asking his permission.

And for the neighbors: Congratulations. Thanks to you, the morons you keep reelecting to local government, and the crooked police department (for reasons I haven’t even mentioned here), the entire town is such a rat’s nest that I can’t sell my home. So, as soon as I am able, you will be losing a homeowner (me), and gaining an absentee landlord (me living someplace else). More drug-addled low income renters will be moving in. I hope you’re happy.

In summary:

--Don’t carry drugs on you. If you must use drugs, leave them at home.

--Speak to a cop only when he speaks to you. In fact, don’t even approach a cop unless you have a specific problem that requires his assistance.

--Cops lie. Admit nothing.

--Cops are obnoxious. Don’t say or do anything to give him an excuse to assault you. Even eye contact can be taken as threatening, so when answering his questions, look straight ahead and pretend he isn’t there until he makes you look at him. Conduct yourself with more dignity than the other person.

--Field sobriety tests are tools of deception. You cannot pass them, which is why a "real" sobriety test is necessary in court.

--Get the cop’s badge number without asking him, in case he pulls any shenanigans.

--Remember being told as a young child that all cops are your friends? Remember the "all cops are heroes"

--Have a real (sic) nice day.

Battery Recall

Dear Dell Customer,

 

Dell has identified a potential issue associated with certain batteries sold with Dell Latitude™, Inspiron™, XPS™ and Dell Precision Mobile Workstation™ notebook computers. In cooperation with the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission and other regulatory agencies, Dell is voluntarily recalling certain Dell-branded batteries with cells manufactured by Sony and offering free replacements for these batteries.  Under rare conditions, it is possible for these batteries to overheat, which could pose a risk of fire.

Potentially affected batteries were sold with the following models of Dell notebook computers or separately as secondary batteries:

• Latitude: D410, D500, D505, D510, D520, D600, D610, D620, D800, D810
• Inspiron: 500M, 510M, 600M, 700M, 710M, 6000, 6400, 8500, 8600, 9100, 9200, 9300, 9400, E1505, E1705
• Precision: M20, M60, M70, M90
• XPS: XPS, XPS Gen2, XPS M170, XPS M1710

In addition, these batteries MAY have also been provided in response to service calls. The batteries were shipped to customers between April 1, 2004 and July 18, 2006. The words "DELL" and "Made in Japan" or "Made in China" or "Battery cell made in Japan, Assembled in China" or "Assembled in Taiwan" are printed on the back of the batteries.

There is a two (2) step process to identify if your battery is affected:

1. Check if your battery model MAY be affected. If your battery is not listed, you are not affected.
2. Check if your specific battery PPID (Dell Part Piece Identification) is affected. This step is necessary to identify if your battery is affected. Only some batteries within each model are affected. If the battery is subject to this recall you will be automatically connected to a replacement order form.

Step 1: Is your battery model affected?

The following battery models, only, MAY be subject to recall:

 

 1K055

 C5446

 F2100 KD494

 W5915

 Y1333

 3K590

 C6269

 F5132

 OR331

 X5308

 Y4500

 5P474

 C6270

 GD785 M3006 X5329

 Y5466

 6P922

 D2961

 H3191

 RD857 X5332 C2603 D5555 J1524 TD349 X5333 C5339 D6024 JD616

 U5867

 X5875

 C5340 D6025 JD617

 U5882

 X5877

These part numbers are printed on the back of the battery as illustrated below.

Step 2: Is your specific battery affected by this issue?

  To determine whether your battery is affected by this issue, you should Click Here.The website will direct you to find and enter an identification number from the back of your battery so as to determine whether the battery is affected by this issue. If the battery is subject to this recall you will be automatically connected to a replacement order form. Dell will also provide a means for you to return the affected battery for proper disposal.

Please note that only the described batteries are subject to this recall and not the notebook computers themselves.

Batteries subject to recall should not be used while awaiting a replacement battery from Dell. You may continue to use your notebook computer using the AC adapter power cord originally provided with your notebook.

Dell apologizes for the inconvenience caused by this issue. Shipment of quality products always has been and continues to be Dell's foremost concern. As always, if you have questions or concerns about this or any other subject, please feel free to contact

Dell Support in your region.

 keep setting myself up for this,
disillusioned disappointments.
I want TOO much,
expect so little,
and yet...
I keep getting overwhelmed by my disappointment.
walls, silence, distance...
Our flesh could be touching,
quivering naked,
skin against skin,
and yet...
My learning curve seems non-existant,
banging my head against the same walls,
over and over,
getting nowhere extremely fast,
and yet...
Here I still am,
waiting...
hoping...
loving...
losing...
I am so exhausted.
It takes too much effort to hold this all back.
Emotion floods my senses,
and yet...
here I still am.
Here I will always be.

 keep setting myself up for this,
disillusioned disappointments.
I want TOO much,
expect so little,
and yet...
I keep getting overwhelmed by my disappointment.
walls, silence, distance...
Our flesh could be touching,
quivering naked,
skin against skin,
and yet...
My learning curve seems non-existant,
banging my head against the same walls,
over and over,
getting nowhere extremely fast,
and yet...
Here I still am,
waiting...
hoping...
loving...
losing...
I am so exhausted.
It takes too much effort to hold this all back.
Emotion floods my senses,
and yet...
here I still am.
Here I will always be.

 

 Ok everyone.  Another topic that will probably die soon.    Just out of curiosity, I posted this because I want your views on the subject.  Can you possibly love two people at one time?  Give me your feedback because I am intersted.  It seems I play second place a lot in someone elses life.    So, let me know.

Well, the truth is you can LOVE as many people as there are in this world. But being IN LOVE with them is a completely different story.

I think you need to do a bit of "soul searching" and think about things before you progress at all in either direction. Think about the pros and the cons, and weigh them out.

A few question to think about would be

Is this guy going to be able to give me what I need emotionally?
Will he be able to help out financially?
Does he have the ability to please me physically, and have the experience?
Will he turn tail and run in the other direction if things get to serious?
Does he hide his feelings from me and the rest of the world?
Am I simply infatuated with him because the other does not give me the attention I crave?


See, love and business aren't so different.

You have know what the risks of investing in a certain stock, you have to know what you could possibly lose, and what you could possibly gain.

More importantly, you need to know when to cut your loses and get on with your life.

Also, if you keep coming in second place in people's lives, think about the type of people you are interested in, and think if they are exactly the right type for you.