It seems that for every natural, normal, healthy thing we humans do, there's a group of activists hell-bent on stopping us. I guess it goes right along with Newton's third law "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction". Of all the activists in our country, I think the ones that piss me off the most are the animal rights activists. They're the ones outside the McDonalds restaurant holding stupid, homemade anti-meat signs while they march in their leather Birkenstocks. These sub-genius groups have made it their life's work to tell the rest of us what we should be having for dinner. Now I do believe everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. If you don't want to eat meat, or if you think eating meat is disgraceful, distasteful, immoral, controversial, or just plain icky, here's an idea; DON'T EAT MEAT! You go ahead and eat your yummy soy and seaweed burger and leave the rest of us the hell alone.

If you're a member of one of these Nazi-like animal rights organizations, there are a few things to think about before you go spouting off about using animal products. First, you better make sure the next time your kid goes out to play catch or join the little league baseball team, that he doesn't use a mitt, because as I'm sure you know, baseball mitts are made of leather. Oh wait….. they CAN'T play baseball, because the ball itself is made of leather. That also goes for footballs, basketballs, volleyballs, soccer balls, and just about every other ball on the market. "Oh yeah " you say…….. "I buy the shitty plastic ones". Hmm, that's no good either. Stearic acid (a fatty acid) is used in the making of plastic, and stearic acid is obtained from... yup, you guessed it: COWS! So, you won't let your kids play ball any more. You'll do the right thing. But stearic acid isn't just found in plastics. It's also found in tires, cosmetics, candles, rubber, and is used in metallurgy, paper-making, and printing and dying of textiles. So every time you use anything made of plastic or wrapped in plastic, you're killing cows! So, since you're killing the cows anyway, to make your lipstick, the tires for your gas/electric environmentally-friendly car and your scented candles, is it ok if I take the parts you don't use and cut them into steaks?

Another group that has puzzled me over the last few years is this bunch of wing-nuts that have decided that SUVs are of the Devil, and should be outlawed. Where the hell did THIS come from? The most common gripe I've heard from anti-SUV activists is their higher than normal fuel usage. This has got to be the dumbest argument out there. Here's a little quiz: I live a mere one mile from my place of work. I drive an SUV that gets - say... 15 MPG. This means, I can drive to work and back for one whole week on about 0.67 gallons of gas (1M to work + 1M home = 2M per day. 2M per day x 5 days = 10 miles). Now, the tree-hugger in the office down the hall drives one of those small, gutless wonders that gets around 40MPG. He commutes 26 miles to work every day. So... 26M to work + 26M home = 52M per day (260M per week). This means he uses 1.3 gallons of gas per day (6.5 gallons per week!). In this scenario, my environmentally-conscious coworker uses OVER SIX AND A HALF TIMES as much gas as I do. Yet, I'm the one who's using excess gas and polluting the environment? Why don't these self-righteous drones find something worth while to protest, like people who live more than 5 miles from their workplace.

The last group I would like to mention in this rant is the communistic sub-culture I see protesting war. They burn our country's flag. They have signs that say stuff like "Peace Not War" and "War Is Murder". Well what the hell do you think our forefathers went through to make it possible for you to protest war? The answer is WAR!!! Do you realize where we would be today if our people had never gone to war? If we never fought for the things we believe in? I'm damn proud to be an American, and I'm proud as hell of the soldiers of the past, present and future who have paid in blood, sweat, tears and even their own lives to protect my way of life. If you think life in this country is bad enough to burn a flag over, then get the hell out! You're not going to stop a war by marching and waving signs. So go home, be with your family, and be grateful you live in a country where you can do both.

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